The real life effects of ketamine
Ketamine can go from party to problem quicker than you think.
How old were you when you first took ketamine?
I first took it when I was 15.
How often were you using at the start and end of your using?
At the start I was picking up 3 grams a week and just using it to watch films and play my Xbox as it fully immersed me in whatever media I was watching, that lasted for a while alongside other substances. As it progressed, I was doing 0.6g-1g lines every 20-30 min give or take funds available, that lasted for 11 years. For the last 4 years of my using I was injecting 0.4g every 15 min, sometimes one after the other after the other, a lot of the time mixing with cocaine.
Has your ketamine using affected your physical and mental health?
Well, my physical health has been extremely impacted. I’ve been left with a severally inflamed/scarred and shrunk bladder which is extremely painful! I suffer from recurring infections and ulcerations inside my bladder which can stop me from being able to walk. There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t have blood in my urine, and I have spasms which take my breath away and cause me to moan with the pain. I would rather give birth than live with this! I also have a low capacity, and this affects my quality of life. I have to wear pads on a daily basis to make myself feel secure in case I don’t reach a toilet. If I hold myself, it causes extreme pain and I can be at risk or rips and tearing so it’s always at the forefront of my mind which brings me into my mental health – it’s extremely exhausting and some days I have to lie in my bed for pain and just the lack of motivation to deal with my mobility. I can get trapped in my own head and it causes extreme depression and suicidal thoughts. I feel like it holds me back socially and restricts my ability to live a normal life.
How quick did you notice side affects and consequences of using?
I got cramps which were my kidneys, stomach, and bladder all pulsating in agony at the same time – they can last for a day or an hour depending on water & food intake. I would need to drink mugs and mugs of hot water and attach hot water bottles to the front and back of my body to feel any relief.. With recurring water infections (that I didn’t feel as I was on the drug) it takes all pain away in a few mins so my go to for cramps would be to quickly sniff a big line which would prolong the cramps anyway, a very vicious cycle. Although, when I was injecting I didn’t get cramps, which is why it became my preferred method. I believe the fact I drank hot water constantly through my using is what limited my bladder and kidneys from fully giving up.
How old were you when you first took ketamine?
I was at an illegal rave in a warehouse and I tried it with my boyfriend and his friends.
How often were you using at the start and end of your using?
I would just use it at a rave on the weekend to start, but then it was pre drinks, and afterwards, then whole weekend sessions, until it creeped into the weekdays too. And then at the end of my using it’s was 24/7, waking up every few hours through the night to use and in the daytime roughly every 20 mins I was going to the toilet to do a line!
Has your ketamine using affected your physical and mental health?
Physically my bladder has shrunk so small it only holds 50ml (a shot) of fluid so I constantly need to go to the toilet, which has resulted in incontinence. My kidneys are also highly damaged, the tubes are damaged and scarred, which means I need stents in to keep them draining properly, they need to be exchanged with an operation every 6 months! Mentally I struggle with my self-esteem from all the health complications, and it makes me depressed about my future.
How quick did you notice side effects and consequences of using?
After 2 – 3 years of weekend use I noticed the frequency in my urinating increase. But it was in 2020 lockdown that my using increased to every day and that’s where the most damage occurred!
